How To: Bangkok to Ayutthaya

1. Check out of your room in Bangkok. This consists of waving your key around so a woman lounging on a cushion, eating noodles, watching television, and texting on a mobile sees you. That`s it, they never held a deposit or even asked to see a passport or bothered with your name.

2. Find your way to the appropriate train station. Taxis in tourist areas often refuse to use meters and quote exorbitant prices; leave this area. Please note that Hualamphlong is pronounced ``wah lahm pong`` and if you leave the tourist ghetto you may struggle with driver communication. Find a taxi and be prepared to pay a little extra since he uses his mobile to call someone who may understand your pathetic broken Thai.

3. You make it to the train station and it feels like gold. Buy your ticket, but the officer may embarrass you when his amazing English dwarfs your memorized, rehearsed and subsequently misspoken Thai.

4. Noting that there is no platform information on your ticket, walk as far from where you need to go as possible. Find your train literally as it begins to pull away.

5. Sit where you can, but pay mind to the large sign hanging in the middle of the car that a monk directs your attention to: ``This car is reserved for monks and disableds only.`` Move, and decide on not making a plea for mental disability.

6. Arrive and disembark. Look eagerly for the touts aching for your business. When you find none, get a tuk-tuk into town.

Ayutthaya was the Siamese royal capital for over 400 years- until 1767. The name comes from the Sanskrit Ayodhya meaning ``unassailable``. It is a fairly small town (under 100,000); the main attraction is the Unesco World Heritage temples.

I`m happy to be here in a quieter place so I can plan my entry into India!